Happiness After 50

Happiness After 50 – A Different Perspective

Happiness after 50 – a different perspective is transcribed from video.

Are we our own obstacle to happiness? always and I think the older that we get because we’ve dealt with so many issues in our lifetime we get in front of ourselves all the time … thanks for joining us once again for another episode of Our 2nd Act with Paige and Silke… for your second act of life …here we are again in Silke’s backyard that’s we are in and we are here and we’re sitting here we’re talking about how happy we are.  Yes this is happiness; being out in nature, being outside, being with Silke.  Well, we’re laughing a little bit because happiness is something that eludes a lot of people, especially as we age and get older.  And this is something that you brought up, Paige. How many times in your practice with your clients you deal with people trying to find happiness.  And how that changes as we get older.  Talk about that.

You know, often times I have people ask me how do I find happiness again?   Because by the time you’re our age you’ve been through multiple traumas; possibly some deaths, some medical illness.  I mean really life can beat you down.  So what I’m asked constantly is how do I find happiness.  Paige you know when I ask somebody what makes you happy, think about if I ask you right now, Silke what makes you happy?  Does it come out quickly or does it take time to ponder?  It takes time to ponder because I’m not sure exactly what I mean by happiness.  Like what is it really?

When do you know you’re fulfilled?

We can get real deep about this but since you asked, that is something that I think about a lot is is can I ever really be truly happy.  What makes somebody truly happy?  When do you know you’re fulfilled?  Good question and does fulfillment mean you have to be fulfilled 24/7  until the time you, you know, die from this planet?  Does happiness mean I’m struggling with a medical illness so the days that I feel good or the hour that I have energy that brings me happiness?  Or does happiness mean that you know you’re retiring now and even though, oh my gosh, what’s the next phase of my life?  I’ve had so many different distractions that I thought I was happy but now I’m going in this next stage, what’s gonna make me happy in this this next stage of life?

Happiness is in the eye of the beholder

So you have to really decide what makes you happy.  And it’s not so much the big things, it’s not so much the material things because that can all go away tomorrow.  But it really is what are the small things that can compile over and over.  Time into each minute, each hour, each day that make you happy.  Because there are gonna be times that you’re not happy and that’s okay.  But as we age, we need to hold on to the times that make us happy.  Hold on to the times when you feel good and don’t forget about them ‘cuz it’s easy to talk about what makes you not happy.

Like I just said, what makes you happy.  But if I would say what makes you not happy, most people can just, you know, rattle things off. But we really think about what makes us happy.  Like nature – for me makes me so happy.  Being outside in nature makes me happy.  When you deal with clients has Facebook been an issue?  Because there’s a lot of people that I hear that they get depressed going on Facebook.   Yeah and all the happy postings.  Yes that’s a great point because that and how much of that is really true?  I call Facebook another mask.  We all wear masks in life where if someone asks you how are you today?  Good.   When behind that mask things are horrible, or they’re depressed, or they’re down.

The “Happiness Mask” of Facebook

You’re absolutely right.  When you look on Facebook, everyone shows a picture perfect of their family’s, other significant others, of them traveling.  But that’s not the reality of what really goes on and you’re right people get very depressed.  Like well, how come my life’s not like that?  And how come I’m struggling with this, or how come they’re getting to have this when the reality is they’re not getting to have all of that.

It’s a picture in a moment in time.  It doesn’t show actually everything that goes on.  The people that post about illnesses or asking for prayer or you know something else that is horrible has happened.  How do we interpret that?  Is it a cry for help?  I’m not quite sure how to handle that.  I know if someone’s gonna post that they need prayers or healing for something, I send it. Why not?  it’s hard enough living in this lifetime, so being there for another person and sending something to them, makes them happy. They know they’re not alone and that’s another form of happiness.

There’s gifts in the traumas; messages in the difficulties and there’s happiness in between the crevices of all the challenges that we go through

You know how I always say there’s gifts in the traumas; messages in the difficulties, and there’s happiness in between the crevices of all the challenges that we go through.   Are we our own obstacle to happiness?   Always.  And I think the older that we get because we’ve dealt with so many issues in our lifetime, we get in front of ourselves all the time.  Instead of saying oh my gosh the Sun shined today or the rain felt so great on me or you know what my best friend who I haven’t seen in years called me or hey I’m going out to a reunion or I get to go.  I can walk,  my feet actually work.  You know it’s finding the small things that really makes you happy.  So you have to define for yourself what is happiness.

And I think as we age, we keep redefining what is happiness

Because happiness at 20 looks very different from happiness after 50.  Paige do you know people who are unhappy, who are in constant search of happiness?  Mm-hmm.  What are your words of advice? Well the first question I always ask my clients and people who are unhappy all the time is do you want to feel happiness?  Do you want to be happy?  Because some people will say to me well, when I was happy before I lost something or it felt too good and I’m afraid to feel that good again and I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and my responses first you have to decide that it really is okay to have a moment or an hour or a day or a week where you feel happiness.

It really is okay to have that.  So you have to ask yourself do you want to be happy even if it is for a minute an hour or a day?  That is a great, great point and when you said that I think that sometimes happens to me.  I know everybody goes through well you’re not alone I really did and I tried not to be conscious of that now.  Yeah, I deserve it; that I’m not gonna be afraid to lose right, something grab onto. The happiness that you have in each moment because you don’t know what’s gonna happen but don’t be afraid to feel it.  And to say you know what, I’m gonna choose to embrace happiness in any moment of the day.  So when I don’t have happiness I know that eventually it will come.  Well, I’m gonna be really happy when we break this shoot right now and we get to have a glass of wine ‘cuz it’s getting really hot out here…





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